MORE Martial translated into Double Dactyls

[ginlindzey]

April 12, 2007 I was messing with this epigram:
(V.55)
dic mihi, quem portas volucrem regina? "Tonantem"
nulla manu quare fulmina gestat? "amat"
quo calet igne deus? "pueri." cur mitis aperto
inspicis ore Iovem? "de Ganymede loquor."

Flappity flappity
queen of the birds (eagle)--
whom are you carrying?
Why does he burn?
"Jove, known as Thunderer,
Burns for Ganymede
(Pedaphilology,
As you discern)."

I remember asking about this epigram on the classics list after I wrote this. Apparently this was a poem written about a picture, as if the speaker is talking to the picture.

Then V.59:

cras te victurum cras dicis, Postume, semper
dic mihi, cras istud, Postume, quando venit?
quam longe cras istud! ubi est? aut unde petendum?
numquid apud Parthos Armeniosque latet?
iam cras istud habet Priami vel Nestoris annos.
cras istud quanti, dic mihi, possit emi?
cras vives? hodie iam vivere, Postume, serum est:
ille sapit quisquis, Postume, vixit heri.

The double dactyl is

"Postumously Undone"

'crastinate, 'crastinate
off-putting Postumus,
Tell me just when you are
going to live?
Late is today when you
Look for tomorrow; the
prehesternationist's
Already lived.

Weird word: prehesternationist. This is the great thing about double dactyls--you can make up words.

III.99
Irasci nostro non debes, Cerdo, libello:
ars tua, non vita, est carmine laesa meo.
Innocuos permitte sales. Cur ludere nobis
non liceat, licuit si iugulare tibi?

"Irasci nostro libello"

Gripity, Snipity
Cerdo the Cobbler, you
Ought not to take great of-
fence at my wit;
You are permitted your
Amphitheatrical
jugularectomies--
leave me my bit!