I was at tae kwon do last night, really too utterly exhausted to be there from extreme lack of sleep this week but there because I was committed to be a partner for a guy doing his belt test. I told one of the black belts that I was too exhausted to spar, but would if he needed, but that it would be like driving while intoxicated. My mistake was not telling all the blackbelts. I ended up sparring, and got my clock cleaned. I hardly had energy to defend myself.
Naturally I was upset directly afterwards--pissed at myself for doing such a lousy job and just plain upset from utter exhaustion. The only thing I could do was think...I wasn't to exhausted to think.
I had been thinking earlier in class, while the testees were doing forms and defense techniques and such which involved people running up and sitting down, that I was in that class to relearn respect and humility. Does that sound odd? For instance, you have to run not walk to stand in front of the board if they call you up. You always face the board, even when returning to your seat, never turning your back (sign of disrespect). You should "yes,sir" loudly, etc. Admittedly part of it to me is a theatrical game. But....
But it feels good in a way to have something, someone worth respecting, worth shouting a "yes, sir" at.
I've often thought that in some ways it's good that I'm no longer like that little new teacher, graduating from college, with her first principal (nothin' but a coach) telling her this and that on what to do and her never questioning. I never questioned anything. I just did whatever I was told.
But I totally lost respect for administration after what I went through at my old school. Don't get me wrong; I like and respect my new principal. It's why I'm willing to commute 30 minutes.
I have thought to myself that it is a matter of finally finding my voice, sticking up for my beliefs against the odds, etc. And that is part of it; that is good.
But this thread above, whether we are being elitists at wanting to go beyong drill and kill grammar, did make me stop and think. Am I arrogant? No, not really, I don't think, though I suppose one must be to have your own blog, to think you have something to say that is worth other people listening to. Perhaps I was arrogant to think others would see how I stood up to a dangerous adminstration and applaud that, and not question how I get away with trashing people. Perhaps I was arrogant to be critical of fellow teachers who don't seem to teach in their classes. I'm not critical of approach, I'm critical of lack of approach altogether. But then I'm arrogant to think I really know. Yes, I know.
Respect and humility last night. Respect for the board, humility when having my clock cleaned.
Maybe it's good when people misunderstand our best intentions and make us see how our actions are viewed as arrogant. Maybe we all need more humility. Maybe that humility will make us better teachers.
no subject
Naturally I was upset directly afterwards--pissed at myself for doing such a lousy job and just plain upset from utter exhaustion. The only thing I could do was think...I wasn't to exhausted to think.
I had been thinking earlier in class, while the testees were doing forms and defense techniques and such which involved people running up and sitting down, that I was in that class to relearn respect and humility. Does that sound odd? For instance, you have to run not walk to stand in front of the board if they call you up. You always face the board, even when returning to your seat, never turning your back (sign of disrespect). You should "yes,sir" loudly, etc. Admittedly part of it to me is a theatrical game. But....
But it feels good in a way to have something, someone worth respecting, worth shouting a "yes, sir" at.
I've often thought that in some ways it's good that I'm no longer like that little new teacher, graduating from college, with her first principal (nothin' but a coach) telling her this and that on what to do and her never questioning. I never questioned anything. I just did whatever I was told.
But I totally lost respect for administration after what I went through at my old school. Don't get me wrong; I like and respect my new principal. It's why I'm willing to commute 30 minutes.
I have thought to myself that it is a matter of finally finding my voice, sticking up for my beliefs against the odds, etc. And that is part of it; that is good.
But this thread above, whether we are being elitists at wanting to go beyong drill and kill grammar, did make me stop and think. Am I arrogant? No, not really, I don't think, though I suppose one must be to have your own blog, to think you have something to say that is worth other people listening to. Perhaps I was arrogant to think others would see how I stood up to a dangerous adminstration and applaud that, and not question how I get away with trashing people. Perhaps I was arrogant to be critical of fellow teachers who don't seem to teach in their classes. I'm not critical of approach, I'm critical of lack of approach altogether. But then I'm arrogant to think I really know. Yes, I know.
Respect and humility last night. Respect for the board, humility when having my clock cleaned.
Maybe it's good when people misunderstand our best intentions and make us see how our actions are viewed as arrogant. Maybe we all need more humility. Maybe that humility will make us better teachers.
Ok, now I'm just rambling.