getting lost in the last days of summer

[ginlindzey]

I was a bit surprised to see that the last day I posted was from the conference.  That seems so long ago.  Life happened.  I know this blog is about teaching Latin but it's also about the life of a teacher.   The week after the conference I had a couple of things happen that shook me up.  The first was going to tae kwon do one night and looking up to see my former principal (the one who hijacked my evaluation, whose discipline policy allowed our school to be overrun by gangs, which in turn put us all in danger, I felt) walk in.  Yes, she joined the class. I was in shock. 

This class was just for *ME*--an escape, a place to kick and hit and yell and break boards!  A stress reliever!  No kids!  No school!  Just an indulgence!  Let's just say I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the new situation.  And by Weds I had spoken to the grand master to request that we never be matched up for anything, esp fighting.  (Contrary to what some people might think, I don't wish to harm the woman, I really feel more sorry for her than anything else, but I also don't want her in my life, nor do I want a sudden flashback to that time to make me lose control around her.)  Amusingly, I think the principal had already made the request, thinking that as a green belt I might actually be able to hurt her.   Anyway, I wasn't ready for any of this and it has taken me some time to adjust.

The second thing that happened was that I had a mammogram and sonogram that showed a solid lump (not a fluid filled cyst).    I couldn't get it biopsied right away because we went off to Galveston with the family for a week.  The beach was great fun--played in the surf, kayaked, boogie boarded, etc.  My siblings and their families were there too.  All and all a fun enough trip, minus my children getting into horrible fights.

I had a meeting with a surgeon this last Monday, the first Monday back from Galveston.  On Wednesday I had a biopsy, which the doc doing it said didn't look good.  I drowned the week in Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn, a perfect distraction from possible or seemingly probable bad news.... ok, and in a bit of scotch as well.

BENIGN.  Friday I found out it's a benign tumor. WHAT A RELIEF!  I had already begun to think about how I would have even managed daily radiation therapy in North Austin while commuting south to Dripping, thinking about what classes would need subs, what it would do to the year, and how I had to let go because none of that could be helped.  But it was BENIGN.

And the point about writing all this here is that one thing that teachers (especially we moms) do is NOT take care of ourselves!  I spent three fairly worrisome weeks thinking about how the last 6 years or more of my life have been non-stop stress for one reason or another.  I've become too dependent on caffeine, and I haven't been eating as well as I should.  I know I don't exercise enough, but I was trying to remedy that with tae kwon do this last year.

It should be another difficult year.  I'm still teaching some courses I haven't taught before, I don't have tons of files for, need to make more materials for, etc etc.  I have the stress of AP as well as the joy of AP.  My younger son with developmental and emotional disabilities will be starting middle school and my elder son will be starting high school.  

But...but...somehow, SOMEHOW I've got to take better care of myself.  New teachers and future teachers need to take note of this.  Nothing is more important than your health and your sanity.    I had a friend who's retired just email me that she'd like to be my back up person this year--out of the blue.  Help me write materials, etc etc.  Wow.

I'm going to take her up on it.  It probably won't be exactly what I want, but if I stay a few steps ahead--actually plan stuff properly this year--I can think of what I need and she can make it.  I'm thinking of having her help me make up some stuff for Latin 3, while I focus on what I want for AP.  But she will also be an excellent resource for teaching Vergil.

My point, if you've missed it, is don't overdo it.  You're not Job, this is just a job.  No one needs to listen to that advice more than me.  I've got surgery coming up to remove the benign tumor, and I know I need to take it easy.

I've also realize that I've in some ways *wasted* these last three weeks, getting very little done/prepared for school.  But in retrospect, I needed that.  I needed to spend a week reading Breaking Dawn in my freetime so I'll be ready for the discussions with students once school starts.  I read The Kite Runner, The Alchemist and Anthem while at the coast.  I'm trying to decide what to read next.  I try to always  have something totally NOT related to school going to remind myself that even if I think I love what I'm doing--reading Vergil, planning for school, etc--I'm better at those things if I take a break from them and TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be blogging more soon.  I finally started to get my "school is starting up" inspiration today and will be writing about that.  But right now it's time to see if the sugar gliders have come out yet.  (New addition to the

Comments

Re: multas gratias

[ginlindzey.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[slytherinbtch.livejournal.com]

I'm happy to hear that your tumor was benign as well. Cancer of any kind scares me more than anything. I hope the stress level isn't quite so high this year for you. I'm just getting back into the "actively thinking about school" routine as well - our teacher work week starts next Monday, and the students come back the week after that.

How did you find Stephenie Meyer's books? A lot of my female students love them, and they keep telling me to read them, but I've seen mixed reviews of the series. I know they're popular, since I can never find them in the library, and the reserve list is always long, but are they a fun read?

[ginlindzey.livejournal.com]

I love the books. I prefer Harry Potter more, but they are addicting page turners. I'm not usually one for romance novels--I say that, but I clearly have a soft spot for them--but I enjoy these tremendously.

I read in TIME last spring that Meyers is a Morman, and that you'll never find explicit sex in her books--just that thrill of hand holding and kissing and anticipation and excitement. And you know what? She demonstrates that if done well, this truly is enough.

Since you've read none of these yet, I won't tell you about this last one, except to say that I was impressed with how she tackled it. I enjoyed it. Half tempted to reread it again. In fact, I'd reread the whole series but I don't think I ever got my copy of New Moon back last year....argh. Read them before you see the first movie which is due out this fall or winter.

The other romance novel that I definitely do reread every couple of years or so is Lindsey Davis's _Course of Honour_.

[empressordinary.livejournal.com]

I've been reading for a while, but never posted. I'm very glad to hear that the tumor was benign. You're so right about how important it is to take a step back and remember to take care of yourself. There have been several times that my body has put its foot down to remind me to slow down, but I'm a slow learner :). The flu the week before finals of a six week class was probably the worst. I look forward to hearing more about coping with stress and teaching strategies.

[(Anonymous)]

Gald you are okay! That must have been seriously scary! If I can recommed a book series? Try Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan. The first book is called The Lightening Thief. It has Latin in it and ancient greek to boot! Awesome stuff!

[ginlindzey.livejournal.com]

HA. My older son is hooked on his books, and I'm reading the first one to my younger son. And Rick's mom was my high school art teacher!!! Small world....

[dracsmith.livejournal.com]

Catching up on LJ after being away for a family reunion - wow! I'm so glad to hear it was benign.

You're not Job, this is just a job.

Well said, and something we all need to keep in mind.

not benign

[(Anonymous)]

Salve. You said when you found out your tumor was benign, "What a relief!" Absolutely; and I'm very happy for you!!

My two small tumors were malignant. This was not a good time to be a Latin teacher. I know what "malus" means!

I've had the surgery and the radiation and am now on the hormone Arimidex. You're right that the radiation messes up your teaching life.

If you'd like to talk more, I'm available.

Sandy




----
I had a meeting with a surgeon this last Monday, the first Monday back from Galveston. On Wednesday I had a biopsy, which the doc doing it said didn't look good. I drowned the week in Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn, a perfect distraction from possible or seemingly probable bad news.... ok, and in a bit of scotch as well.

BENIGN. Friday I found out it's a benign tumor. WHAT A RELIEF! I had already begun to think about how I would have even managed daily radiation therapy in North Austin while commuting south to Dripping, thinking about what classes would need subs, what it would do to the year, and how I had to let go because none of that could be helped. But it was BENIGN.

Re: not benign

[ginlindzey.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. But remember, if your students don't get ideally all the Latin they are supposed to get in one year, it isn't the end of the world. Thank GOD there aren't TAKS tests (our state mandated test) in Latin. And students need to see that sometimes there are more important things in life than grades--YOUR HEALTH. I had a student this last year who was really sick the last 6 weeks or more of school. She missed so much... she tried to make a lot of it up. We were going to meet this summer, but we never got it together. I finally sent her a note that said that being in Latin 1 again wouldn't be the worst thing. In fact, it would be fine. And that years from now she will understand that her health was truly far more important than her grades.

So what if you aren't top 10 percent? You can still get into a college, just not the one you first wanted, maybe. You can always do whatever you want--if you take care of yourself in the meantime!

Hand in there, Sandy. I'm healing quickly, but know that this is a sign that I've got to start being more vigilant about my breasts. Perhaps not exactly a subject for a blog about Latin, but certainly one about being human and a teacher. Aging sucks, but we all age.